Cartoon Logo & Mascot design

I need a new design for my file sharing website, thinking of an army helmet (possibly german but doesnt matter) with a set up testicals hiding underneath (scrotum/balls). hiding behind a sand bag arrangement, nothing overly sexual just funny, nothing to graphic either, to appeal to the 15-35 year old male market, colour with army themes. Theme would be, privates, security, protection along those lines. I would like 4 different designs to choose from, with the chosen design being turned into a number of different sizes from high qaulity to print on a t-shirt down to small logo. I would also like an animated gif for the front page (google layout) where the scrotum expands and contracts just for visual effects. I would also require the original in photoshop format, with layers & all textures supplied.