Create me a simple webpage with multiple javascript

Hi, I work in the "annoying" tech support industry. And i am wondering if someone can code me a simple CLEAN html page that just contains text but has the following commands: - Stop exiting of page User cannot exit the page, when they click the X button it simple takes them to another page which then does the same thing. Causing a endless loop of NO EXITING - Open Multiple Popups When the page opens it also creates 5 popups/popunders of the current page. - Disable Right Click Disable the right click so the user cannot copy any of the text or images. - Force Window to be on top Force the webpage to be ontop, so no matter if they try open another tab it will not let them. - Each time you exit it shows annoying message Just like most of the annoying websites online, when you click the back button it simply reloads the page and does not allow you to exit. -Message box that when you click ok reloads the page: Just like the example here ([login to view URL]) it does not allow you to do anything but click the ok button Please only bid if you can perform all the following above and develop it extremely fast.