HIRING: Fun-Loving Programmer Who "Breathes Life" Into PHP

WARNING: Please do not read this project posting unless you love the fun and the thrill of overcoming programming challenges...

Hi there!

We're looking to hire a long-term PHP Programmer who shares a deep passion in programming. Is that you? To find out, read on!


This Project Is Especially For You If:


1. You eat, breathe and sleep thinking about programming all the time, and you smile at programming jokes like these:

- A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"

- I hold a mouse more than my wife’s hand.

2. You enjoy the thrill and satisfaction of overcoming programming challenges, instead of looking and bidding for new projects to take on most of the time (don't know about you but this produces a "404 Error Not Found" error for us)

3. You absolutely love growing together with a company on the long-term.

If ($working_with_us == 'short term') {


} else {

continue; //and have lots of fun with us!


3. You have friends like:



- Javascript

- JQuery

- Wordpress (and you've actually coded a Wordpress plugin yourself before)

4. You can also converse in the English language other than programming languages

5. You are responsive, proactive in keeping us up-to-date with the progress, and you guarantee no 'The Connection Has Timed Out' errors (the error we see every time someone takes too long to respond)

6. You can start immediately under this operators & conditions:

- $salary = 'US$125/week'

- $payment_terms = 'weekly'

- $days_per_week = '6 days'

- $hours_per_day = '8 hours'

7. You are up to the challenge of '1-week test trial':

if ($pass_test_trial = TRUE)


$longterm_contract = 'Start';



Main Responsibility


Some (serious) background first:

Our main business relies on a set of wordpress scripts that syndicates content to other websites via cURL and PHP. The framework of the existing wordpress plugin scripts is completed and it's working.

So your main responsibility is to 'maintain and keep them updated, so as to facilitate my business operations.'

But beneath that, we also need you to have fun and "breathe life" into the boring programming codes.


Other Responsibilities


And if ($maintenance_of_scripts == 'completed' && $other_projects == FALSE)

We'll need you to:

1. Develop on existing wordpress plugin scripts to add new functions

2. Create new PHP scripts and software systems to facilitate operations

This position will be fun, exciting and challenging for you if you share a passion in programming.

As part of the training, we will run you through with the function in the scripts so you get to know how they work with each other, and become friends with them.


How to Bid...


If this project excites you, please PM us with:

1. The Wordpress Plugin & cURL projects you've done efore...

2. And a paragraph explaining why you are better then the rest of the applicants.

We're looking for a fun-loving, dedicated, committed and results-oriented programmer. So please apply only if you are the superstar fun-loving programmer we're looking for.

Skills: AJAX, Javascript, MySQL, PHP, WordPress

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About the Employer:
( 17 reviews ) Singapore, Singapore

Project ID: #780930

6 freelancers are bidding on average $200 for this job


if($give_chance) { echo "I am ready!!"; } else { echo "Want to work with in your team." }

$150 USD in 7 days
(74 Reviews)

Dear Sir/madam, Please check PM. Regards - TIA Team

$250 USD in 30 days
(36 Reviews)

if ($pass_test_trial = TRUE) { $longterm_contract = 'Start'; } PHP Warning: $longterm_contract will always = 'Start': If statement should be == on line 1

$200 USD in 7 days
(14 Reviews)

more on pm

$250 USD in 7 days
(19 Reviews)

Hah well you quite made me want to work for you! Check PMB.

$250 USD in 30 days
(9 Reviews)

Hi, please do view PMB!

$250 USD in 5 days
(1 Review)

Hi, We are 5+ years exp. web development and web designing team. I understand your requirement very well. We are motivated to providing only quality work and based on current web standard. Please check your PMB for mo More

$100 USD in 7 days
(1 Review)