"A touch of snark," I love it.
Hello there, my name is Nik. I have dipped the proverbial pen into many satirical opportunities over the years. As such, I've honed my wit to provide a "sliding scale of sarcasm" to my clients.
Point is, I'm more than adept at sharpening up content with sarcasm and humor to give it that extra edge. You know by now, as someone who is presumably ratcheting up conversion ratios by precious tenths of a percent, that the slightest boost in your copy's appeal is integral in doing so.
No duh, that's why you're here. Anyway, if you hire me now, I'll finish within 4 hours.
Hope to speak soon, and best of luck to you.
Nik