The only time we suffer is when we believe a thought
that argues with what is. When the mind is perfectly
clear, what is is what we want. If you want reality to
be different than it is, you might as well try to teach a
cat to bark. You can try and try, and in the end the cat
will look up at you and say, “Meow.” Wanting reality
to be different than it is is hopeless.
And yet, if you pay attention, you’ll notice that you
believe thoughts like this dozens of times a day.
“People should be kinder.” “Children should be
well-behaved.” “My husband (or wife) should agree
with me.” “I should be thinner (or prettier or more
successful).” These thoughts are ways of wanting
reality to be different than it is. If you think that this
sounds depressing, you’re right. All the stress that we
feel is caused by arguing with what is.
People new to The Work often say to me, “But it would
be to stop my argument with reality. If
I simply accept reality, I’ll become passive. I may even
lose the desire to act.” I answer them with a question: