Configure MySQL and Wordpress For Extreme Traffic and The Digg Effect

Looking to be able to configure my server to handle the digg effect. Right now when my stories hit the digg homepage, the server slows to a crawl or will crash I'm using a dedicated server with pretty decent hardware. I've found certain sites online that explain that configuring PHP settings and Apache settings can help with the server load but its over my head. I need to have someone optimize my site and settings, most likely my MySQL database, so that I can handle being on [login to view URL]'s homepage and other very high trafficed sites. I need to be able to handle between 10,000 - 30,000 hits in ten minutes. I am using a Wordpress blog. Here is my URL: [login to view URL] Here is an example of something I found that might help but you may know other tricks: [login to view URL] 1.) Can you make a backup of my settings to test this so that I don't loose it all and it is easily restored? 2.) Have you had experience with the "digg effect"? 3.) Can you configure my server to be able to handle and run smoothly when my stories hit the homepage of digg? 4.) Can you guarentee this and wait to see my story on digg's homepage to ensure that what you did worked? You must answer all 4 of these questions to be considered for the job. Thanks!