Example jokes jobs

I am seeking a developer with intermediate level experience IOS Swift. The task will be to help me get the example code working from the documentation at This is my first time working with IOS and the docs leave out some of the implementation. For example, in this code there is not map function, only "..." Bids under £70 only please. ``` var totalUsageByCategory: [ActivityCategory:TimeInterval] totalUsageByCategory = (…) ```

I am seeking a developer with intermediate level experience IOS Swift. The main task will be to help me get the example working from the documentation at This is my first time working with IOS and the docs leave out some of the implementation. For example: ``` var totalUsageByCategory: [ActivityCategory:TimeInterval] totalUsageByCategory = (…) ```

I need an experienced freelancer to replicate the design, layout & structure from an existing website to serve as a starting point for our own site. Key tasks involve: - Implementing the structure or an an existing example website on Wordpress. This includes the pages, placeholders for posts, menu structure, etc. - Utilizing Spectra blocks/Kadence theme, contact form 7 Ideal candidate should have strong skills in Wordpress and Spectra/Kadence theme implementation. Please include examples of past work in your application. You will be working from a clean Wordpress install.

...video must be: - at max 2 minutes in duration - suitable for mobile consumption - edited using the latest techniques to suit TikTok and Instagram Reels Key elements of the video: - We want to inspire young adults, food enthusiasts, and social media users with our origin story - The tone should be Inspirational, making viewers feel connected and motivated by our journey with some quirky egg-puns(jokes) Ideal skills for this project include: - Proficiency in video editing - Experience creating content for social media platforms like TikTok and Instagram - Understanding of storytelling and how to engage with a target audience - Knowledge of music and sound editing If you're passionate about storytelling, have a knack for engaging videos, and can bring out the inspiratio...

...wearing white cowboy boots with high heels and the caption "high heels on my ippy" to frame - Illustration 2: A morphed image with the face of the cartoon nanalan and my girlfriend to place on a mug with the caption "who's a wonderful mink" - Illustration 3: A illustration of dajungleskog and my girlfriend, dog and cat - all like a happy family. These are some of her favourite things and inside jokes. 2. Artistic Style: All these illustrations should be designed in a cartoonish style, embodying a playful and joyful vibe. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proficiency in creating digital cartoon-style illustrations - Demonstrable skillset in creating human, animal, and cartoon-themed designs - Capacity to capture intricate details and transform them i...

We are looking for an upbeat, energetic emcee to encourage and motivate our young runners ages 4-12 during our upcoming kids run. Our ideal candidate thrives by creating an entertaining and engaging atmosphere for our young participants...young participants. While overseeing the run, your interactions should be playful and humorous, maintaining the fun and light-hearted spirit of the event. Experience with events geared towards children and demonstrated capacity to interact with this specific age group will be a huge plus, as well as an ability to adjust energy levels to match the dynamic nature of the event. Please bring your best jokes and games! Your role is pivotal in making the run a memorable event for these young runners. The run is in Gurgaon on 28th April and the timings ar...

It will scrape the sites I want.

More details: What is the purpose of the structures you want to build? Residential buildings How many different design variations do you want for the structures? One design What specific features are you looking for in your residential building's design? Glulam arches and connected roof

I need a driven and creative freelancer to help me bring a cartoon character to life and keep him evolving through daily memes. This job is a great opportunity t...project entails: - Designing a unique and captivating cartoon character. - Creating minimum two memes per day featuring this character. - The memes must be a combination of text and graphics. - Maintaining a satirical and humorous tone in all memes. Ideal freelancer should have: - Proficiency in graphic design. - Experience in creating cartoon characters. - Knowledge of the latest trends and jokes in the meme universe. - Proficient understanding of meme token scenarios. - Unmatched creativity to keep the character and the memes interesting and fresh each day. Let's bring some smiles and laughter into the world ...

I'm searching for a seasoned sailing expert / Captain (RYA qualified, min .20000 nautical miles accumulated and at the least 7 months every year spent in the sea, capable of writing article: - sailor bio - sailing practical skills - sailing theory - diary storm - diary work around for unexpected problem - how to - practical skills You can write with your onw style ( my article are often with jokes and irony) but the article must be understandable also for beginners. Our editorial line will give plenty of space to social project and sustainability and practice tips You can propose any article to me where you feel you are the master. Plenty of freedom and fun! that you will never have writing for standard boring magazine! Article must be always supported by at leat 3 nice im...

...in the medical profession. - Integrate a humorous element through tasteful jokes or funny stories. - Maintain a light-hearted tone throughout without losing the motivational aspect. - The speech needs to be engaging and impactful, approximately 10 - 15 minutes in duration, to ensure that all key messages are conveyed. The ideal freelancer for this job will have: - Previous experience in writing graduation speeches or similar inspirational speeches. - An inspiring writing style that compels listeners to take action and feel optimistic about their medical journey ahead. - Capture the essence of the graduation ceremony with uplifting and inspirational sentiments. - Integrate a humorous element through tasteful jokes or funny stories. - Maintain a light-hearted tone througho...

I'm searching for a scriptwriter experienced with Manhwa. I'm currently exploring all genres, so a wide-ranging knowledge of Manhwa is essential Must have a sense of humor like the examples below. Scripts usually 10,000 words or more. What you need to do is pretty much make a narration of a manhwa. For example chapters 1-5, create a narration of what is going on and add your own jokes to it to make it more entertaining.

Hi, I want to get my girlfriend a costume that looks like this (images attached). We like to do some practical jokes on each other and have a YouTube channel together, and my girlfriend has the superpower of hindsight - telling me what I should have done (differently)! So she ought to have a Captain Hindsight costume I figured! :) I would ideally need the costume by April 13, and I am located in Gold Coast Australia. In terms of the costume itself, I do not have much requirement at all. All I want is that it somewhat looks like the image. I.e., it's fine to use cheaper material and simplify certain matters etc. Best, Jon

I am seeking a skilled graphic designer to revise the typography in my current logo. The specifics are as follows: - Typography Adjustment: This is the main requirement of this project. You should have extensive knowledge and experience in typographical design. It's not required, but if you have any style recommendations, such as serif, sans serif, or script, they would be appreciated. Importantly, this task is time-sensitive and I am looking to have the project completed as soon as possible. Expertise in rapid and efficient work will be an added advantage. Please ensure your bid reflects this urgency.

We are seeking a talented script writer to join our anime recap channel. As a script writer, you will be responsible for crafting engaging and informative scripts for our recap videos. Your primary focus will be on creating concise and entertaining summaries of anime episodes, highlighting key plot points, character developments, and memorable moments as well as adding JOKES AND HUMOUR, like the attached example. The ideal candidate must have a deep understanding and passion for anime content, ensuring accurate representation of the source material. This is a great opportunity to showcase your writing skills and contribute to a growing online community. Join us and bring the world of anime to life! Relevant skills: - Strong writing skills - Knowledge of anime genres and p...

Hi there. I need a working example of Square's latest Web Payments form based on their PHP SDK. It came out over a year ago and they gave all these how to convert tutorials, but it's a super confusing migration. I just need a working example where I can paste my API Application ID and Application Secret in and process a real credit card. Simple. I just want an example that I can get working for processing credit cards. And tell me exactly which things to paste over with my own info. Thanks!

I am looking for a creative designer to refresh the look o...brand's identity Experience with a similar project is a plus. I look forward to working with you to bring this vision to life. The inspiration: - - - - - -

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app folder ✔ What is your project named? … profi_file_upload ✔ Would you like to use TypeScript? … No / Yes ✔ Would you like to use ESLint? … No / Yes ✔ Would you like to use Tailwind CSS? … No / Yes ✔ Would you like to use `src/` directory? … No / Yes ✔ Would you like to use App Router? (recommended) … No / Yes ✔ Would you like to customize the default import alias (@/*)? … No / Yes It's a very simple task; in the already created and empty project, only components for uploading photos need to be made. In the project, a backend endpoint is already made that accepts multipart/form-data. The assignment already includes a repository with the application, so it's really not about creating the whole application; I only need the...

I need a passionate anime script writer who can craft amazing recap scripts for a 24 episode romantic comedy series. My target audience consists of die-hard anime fans, so the recap should contain comprehensive details without giving too much away with some jokes. Creativity is a must, bringing fresh perspectives to moments from episodes and adding intrigue for future viewings. Ideal applicants should have: - An extensive knowledge and love for anime, especially the Rom-Com genre - Excellent written communication skills - Proven scriptwriting experience - Ability to stick to deadlines and work systematically through the series. Let's make an immersive recap experience for these fans together!

I need a passionate anime script writer who can craft amazing recap scripts for a 24 episode romantic comedy series. My target audience consists of die-hard anime fans, so the recap should contain comprehensive details without giving too much away with some jokes. Creativity is a must, bringing fresh perspectives to moments from episodes and adding intrigue for future viewings. Ideal applicants should have: - An extensive knowledge and love for anime, especially the Rom-Com genre - Excellent written communication skills - Proven scriptwriting experience - Ability to stick to deadlines and work systematically through the series. Let's make an immersive recap experience for these fans together!

I have this example project in django. I achieved to deploy it in lightsail AWS in development mode. I mean, running: python3 runserver SERVER-IP:PORT But, when I tried to deploy it in Production, I have this error: 500 Internal Server Error An internal server error has occured. I have followed the bitnami documentation: """ Enable Predefined Virtual Hosts For A Django Project The Bitnami installation comes with predefined HTTP and HTTPS virtual hosts for running Django projects with the mod_wsgi module. To enable them, follow the steps below: Copy the files to remove the .disabled suffix: NOTE: These files assume that the Django project is named sample and is located at /opt/bitnami/projects/sample. If your Django project is named or located differently, edit the ...

...marketer to build real engagement in my Facebook group focused on accelerated and Olympiad math for parents and teachers. - Current Group Size: My group currently has less than 100 members and I want to increase this number significantly. - Content Focus: The group highlights various aspects of math education, ranging from exercise problems and Olympiad math resources, to light-hearted math jokes and history snippets. There is also a section for parental advice. I do not need content! I am writing myself. You can change my posts Skills and Experience: - Proven experience in social media marketing and growth hacking, preferably in education or community building sectors. - Familiarity with math education and parent-teacher dynamics would be a plus. - Excellent understandi...

...This e-book MUST be between 50-100 pages in length, an ability to cover information concisely is key - This e-book MUST be properly formatted according to the Amazon Kindle eBook standard - In terms of style, I'm aiming for a simple, informative, and funny tone. We are here to help readers level up their understanding of health and fitness as a whole, and I believe a factual yet funny voice with jokes achieves this best. - We will cover a range of topics. This includes but isn't limited to nutrition and diet, exercise routines and plans, mental health with wellness, and how each of these ways increases your lifespan dramatically. The best fit for this project would be a writer with proven experience in health and fitness content. If you've got a good understandin...

...This e-book MUST be between 50-100 pages in length, an ability to cover information concisely is key - This e-book MUST be properly formatted according to the Amazon Kindle eBook standard - In terms of style, I'm aiming for a simple, informative, and funny tone. We are here to help readers level up their understanding of health and fitness as a whole, and I believe a factual yet funny voice with jokes achieves this best. - We will cover a range of topics. This includes but isn't limited to nutrition and diet, exercise routines and plans, mental health with wellness, and how each of these ways increases your lifespan dramatically. The best fit for this project would be a writer with proven experience in health and fitness content. If you've got a good understandin...

...0:05] Voice-over: "Share your vibe and connect with others in a unique way." Background scenes of young people laughing and typing on their mobile phones. [Scene 2 - 0:10] Voice-over: "With EventDisp, every message becomes a part of the celebration." Visuals showing messages from phones appearing dynamically on a large screen. [Scene 3 - 0:15] Voice-over: "Experience the thrill of seeing your jokes, questions, and flirts light up the room." Clips of people reacting with excitement as their messages display on the big screen. [Scene 4 - 0:20] Voice-over: "No ads, no spam, just pure fun. And the best part? It's completely free." Quick montage of happy, diverse groups of people engaging with the app. [Closing - 0:25] Voice-over: "...

Please message a sample of the work. Will be a shrunken heads search cartoon page. Jungle scenes. Coupoek, pretty girls dressed like jungle girls. Needs to be all shrunken heads, and sexy ladies.. I can provide images of the ones I want to be made into a scary looking B & W cartoon page. I want the look look the file attached. I am on the lookout for a talented comic book artist to assist with creating 1-10 pages of captivating artwork. The specific style isn't set in stone, so feel free to bring your unique interpretation to the table. Details for the job are as follows: - The dimensions must be 8.5" x 11" plus bleed - The resolution should be at 300 DPI - The final deliverables need to be in both PDF and JPG formats Ideal candidates for the job should exhibi...

...task to arrange the existing design or structure (which is also not bad) to match the example design/structure provided. It will NOT require adding any new features; however, some knowledge of PHP/Laravel may be needed to populate some content/sections that may not be available in the current design (for example, if featured posts are not showing in the contemporary design). Some level of coding knowledge may be needed. However, it is a design change task. The changes are primarily needed for six pages. Home page, Listing projects page, Project details page, Profile pages, Dashboard page, my projects page. For each page, I will provide an example link for the sample page. Original page link and example page link You do not need to integrate a new theme/te...

I need a skilled comedy writer to spice up my one-hour stand-up show. This specific gig involves infusing my performance, which majors on life experiences, with additional humor. Key Requirements: - Proven experience as a comedy scriptwriter - Ability to write satirical humor - Understanding of crafting adult-oriented jokes and content The right fit for this project understands the subtleties of stand-up comedy, particularly in generating laughs through satire and life's absurdities. If you have excellent skills in translating regular life experiences into humorous narratives, let's get in touch.

I have provided an Example image, I need that to be created from scratch with original art, not stock images or licensed images from other sources. I need someone truly skilled at cartoon drawing that can take the image example along with the other reference images and create a new piece. Notes: The overall design should look similar to the Example image in terms of layout You may use the screw image, but I would prefer a new one or at least something stylized The Viper image is an example of how I would like the snake to look, more cartoonish.

I'm in need of an exceptional scriptwriter with a strong grasp of satire. The scripts should lean towards the ridiculous side, sure to entertain our adult audience. Experience in crafting c...creativity. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proven experience in scriptwriting, particularly in satirical comedy - Knowledge of YouTube content creation - Brilliant sense of humour matching our tone and style - Ability to cater to adult comedic tastes Expectations: - Deliver engaging, satire-driven scripts that capture the ridiculous tone we're looking for - Target mature audiences, ensuring jokes and scenarios are age-appropriate - Keeping in mind YouTube's guidelines and policies when creating content If you're a seasoned scriptwriter with a knack for satire, I look for...

...mishaps recounted. - **Content**: **Childhood memories**: Incorporate touching or funny anecdotes from our childhood. These could range from our first meeting to shared adventures or simply moments that define our bond. - **Funny mishaps**: Weave in stories of humorous blunders or situations we found ourselves in, especially those that highlight our friendship's unique dynamics or inside jokes. - **Ideal Skills and Experience**: - Exceptional writing skills, with proven experience in speech writing, storytelling, or comedy writing. - A talent for capturing and conveying emotions through words, while also injecting humor at just the right moments. - Ability to take provided themes and anecdotes and weave them into a cohesive, engaging narrative. - Experience ...

...accomplished humorist or speech writer who can assist me with creating clever, clean one-liners suitable for business event speeches targeting an adult audience. Key Requirements: - Draft clean, tasteful jokes that can seamlessly blend into business event speeches. - Experience in creating punchy one-liners which can engage and entertain an adult audience. - An understanding of the business event environment and examples of previous work in this field would be advantageous. Skills & Experience: - Expertise in comedy writing, particularly one-liners. - Experience writing/formulating jokes for speeches, particularly for business events. - The ability to tailor humor to suit an adult audience within a professional environment. - A keen understanding of tone, timing, ...

I'm looking to work with a creative and talented designer to develop a logo for my brand. A key requirement for applicants is to showcase their past work. I have a unique style in mind, influenced by modern and minimalist principles, and I have an example ready to share to guide your creative process. Ideal candidates will have a keen eye for clean and stylish design, and extensive experience in logo creation. Your involvement in this project could potentially lead to further collaboration on graphic design needs for our brand.

I'm in need of a writer talented in humor to craft an unforgettable and fun...about the groom and possibly the bride, showcasing our friendship and adding a personal touch to the humor. **Ideal Candidate:** - Has excellent writing skills with a proven track record in humor or comedic writing. - Can weave together humor and warmth to create a speech that's fun yet appropriate for a wedding. - Is able to collaborate closely with me to incorporate personal stories and inside jokes effectively. - Previous experience in writing wedding speeches or similar content is highly preferred. The right freelancer for this job will help me leave a lasting impression, ensuring the speech is talked about long after the wedding. I'm excited to collaborate and create something truly ...

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Me again! I am working on my UI problem. Could you provide an example of how to pragmatically display graphic_a and then after x time display graphic_b?

I need developer for develop Stripe () API, pay via credit card and support 3d secure 2 (live mode). Validation process by Bank will sent confirmation code via SMS. I only want example project developed by node.js express (web application). If you can do or have experience in this field. Please offer a price and information about this work.

I'm looking to inject some humor into the office with custom-designed stickers reflecting our internal jokes. These stickers will be a medium size, ideal for personalizing workspaces and belongings. - Sticker Requirements: - Size: Medium (2 to 4 inches) - Style: Cartoonish and fun, appealing to a wide range of employees - Purpose: For the enjoyment and personal use of employees - Ideal Candidate: - Proficient in graphic design - Able to capture humorous concepts creatively - Familiar with sticker design and production - Portfolio with whimsical, cartoon-style artworks - The Process: - Understand our inside jokes and company culture - Create initial design concepts for approval - Develop finalized sticker designs ready for print I'm excited to...

I am looking for a skilled mobile app developer to create a mobile app for me. The main purpose of the app is to publish data to a designated platform, which will eventually create a website. Platform: The app should be able to publish data to various platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Additionally, it should integrate with web builder and SMS tools, as well as email services. Open source customization is also a possibility. Design: I don't have a specific design or layout in mind, so I am open to suggestions. I want the app to have a clean and user-friendly interface. Features: The app should have data collection forms that allow users to fill out information and make selections. It should also have the ability to relay this data to a database in real-time....

...for: - Engaging storytelling with a light and humorous tone. - Creativity in weaving anecdotes that tickle the funny bone while maintaining the undercurrent of deep love and appreciation. - Experience in speech writing, especially for personal and intimate gatherings. - Ability to capture the essence of my wife's personality and our life's journey together. - Sensitivity to incorporate inside jokes without alienating the broader audience. Ideal Skills: - Exceptional writing skills with a flair for comedy. - Experience in composing speeches for special occasions. - Understanding of family dynamics and the importance of celebrating milestones. - Expertise in creating content that appeals to a close-knit group of family and friends. Your task will be to deliver a speech...

I have a project on CPanel (and I have a WHM) on my VPS. We have hundreds of ba...samename_dbname1, samename_dbname2 and so forth. Each database has the same, identical structure and tables and columns. I think I can use the schema naming logic to update the same table, column and record in ALL of my tables from one query but I am not experienced in which schema names identify: All databases A particular table within those databases A particular record within those databases For example, what if I want this query? UPDATE SET title = "Learn XYZ" WHERE id=1 I guess that db would simply need to be some schema name that identifies any database or any database that starts with samename_ Sometimes I'll need to insert the same exact record into the same table in eve...

I have a nucleo board H723ZG, and I want the step by step configuration for PING + UDP without FreeRTOS. It must work with the board and use STM32IDE. Basically, I want to configure the ETH + LWIP to make an UDP+PING Example to work. More details in here: Budget and timeline: "A few hours. I Budget is like 20-30 CAD. I already provide all my references in the linked post. I actually just need help setting up the project. I am just looking for that I am missing that I can't get the project to work. At some point it the same list of steps I provided worked in the past on in existing project for the same board."

Hi, I am looking for someone who can scrape (or create from scratch) a landing page. I will give you the site, which I need to copy.

Implement Angular single page app + .net core API backend 1. Backend should load cities names list from file 2. Angular app should load list of cities names from backend (RESTFULL api/cities GET request) 3. User should be able to add new, modify and delete city name from list on Angular side 4. Modified list should be sent back to server (RESTFULL api/cities POST request) either on immediate change or on save button click 5. Backend should save list to file Any extra feature will be considered as plus I may have real project for candidate who successfully deliver this

Looking for a shorts editor full-time who can replicate an editing style similar to MatPats shorts. Ideally, your style of editing should be fast-paced and dynamic, perfect to capture the audience's attention and keep them engaged throughout the short video. An understanding of US Pop culture is necessary for inserting inside jokes into the content. Footage will be pre trimmed when you get it. Here's what I'm looking for: • Ability to replicate an editing style similar to MatPats Game Theory/Style Theory shorts. • Proven experience with fast-paced and dynamic editing. • An eye for creativity, always adding a unique touch to each production • Understanding of US Pop culture Your task would be to take raw, pre-trimmed footage, and transform it in...

I am in urgent need for a talented logo designer to re-draw a logo from a example that I have. As the project needs to be completed as soon as possible, prompt responses will be highly appreciated. Ideal candidates possess strong artistic skills, demonstrate creativity with an eye for professional designs, and have past experience in logo redesigning. I need to logo in png, jpeg and pdf form, I also need a black and white version, and a negative version as well as a version for use in the Facebook Profile Picture. My company is as follows SOUTH EAST MARINE SUPPLIES SANDWICH, KENT So the wording needs to match that.

I'm looking for an experienced artist to draw a stylized character based on a real person. The character should be drawn in a cartoon style, and needs both a front and side orthographic view. I'm open to the artist's interpretation, but am also welcome to any specific details or features the artist would like to highlight. I look forward to seeing the artist's vision of what this character could look like!

I am in need of a comedy writer to craft a humorous ad for social media. This is not just any comedy writing gig - I need someone who can toe the line between stand-up, sketch writing, and comedy screenplay. - Target Audience: This content will be aimed at individuals between the ages of 18-60, so a wide-ranging sense of humor is key. - Humor Level: I'm looking for a variety of jokes - some that are PG (suitable for all ages), some PG-13 (parental guidance recommended), and a few that are R-rated (restricted to adults). Variety is key as we want to appeal to our diverse audience. Attached is a video that we want to emulate. We own a brand Happy Dad Hard Seltzer. We will have an MMA fighter be the speaker and emulate the ad attached Ideal candidates should have previous ex...

I'm in need of a top-notch video editor with a strong background in editing YouTube gaming videos (In Russian/Ukrainian). My target audience relishes engaging and energetic content enhanced with jokes and music. I'm looking to bring on a freelancer who can: - Edit social media videos and compelling gaming montages - Deliver fast-paced, dynamic editing - Inject humor and energy into each piece - Work comfortably with Adobe Premiere Pro Experience in creating cultured, fast-paced, dynamic social media and YouTube content is ideal. Mastery of Adobe Premiere Pro is key, as it's my preferred video editing software. Your ability to deliver memorable and humorous gaming montages will be crucial for this role.